So. We did Whole30.
And, because food is everything (don't scoff, you know it to be true), I have to talk about it. I do live in the age of Instagram dinner plates, after all.
Last June, my entire family launched ourselves whole hog (except not, because you can't eat ANY of the bacon that's available in small-town Midwest) into the Whole30. Due to some unsolved gut issues, I was the genius behind this experiment. Knowing I was venturing into another crazy food mistake (they always are once you're waist-deep in them and crying for all that's good in this world), I politely asked my husband if he was interested in joining me. And he was! Upon finding out that coffee was allowed and beans were not, he readily accepted the challenge. Well. This changed things. If both the adults in our household were eating clean, I couldn't bring myself to put a bowl of dairy-and-carbs evil in front of my sweet offspring. There was only one way to do this: as a family.
Thus begins 30 thoughts on Whole30:
1) Food is fun.
One of the major slaps in the face for me was how much I rely on food for enjoyment. I don't necessarily eat food when I'm sad (more on that later), but I caught myself thinking, "Aw man, we're doing this the first month of summer... that's an entire month of summer that won't be any fun." What?? Johanna, come on. Do you really rely on food so much that you require it in order to have fun? Yes, yes I do. And those trips to the zoo were hard packing only olives and fruit for fun. I even love olives and fruit! But knowing we couldn't stop at DQ had me waging a battle in my mind for enjoying myself without celebratory food.
2) Food is something I control.
No matter how bad the day, no matter how long the morning was, when nap time comes, mommy can sneak into the kitchen and... oh wait, I can't have chocolate. Oh that hurts. I actually found myself watching TV during my break time just to have something that was a pamper myself moment. (And when the book suggests "have a spa day instead of junk food" who on earth are they talking to?? A candy bar is waaaaaay cheaper than a spa day. Hello.)
3) Being hungry makes me angry.
I worked out a lot during the Whole30. Because I was constantly angry at not being able to have what I wanted. Essentially, if I can eat food, I don't work out. If I can't, I do. I'm not sure what went wrong with my psyche... but that's a win-win or lose-lose in terms of fitting into the old jeans.
4) I was hungry a lot.
I know this was my metabolism adjusting to not running on carbs. I have always had a high metabolism, and breastfeeding adds to the need to eat like a horse. By week 3 I was functioning much better, feeling full longer, and learning to add more sweet potatoes and fruit into my day.
5) So. Tired.
I never got the amazing energy they talked about. Now, I am also fully aware that as a mother of four still waking up multiple times at night, I shouldn't have expected miracles. But. I kind of did.
6) Puke.
Sorry for the TMI... but here it is: the first week saw myself and all the boys puking. I guess it's more common for younger people and also those with high metabolisms, because your body detoxes that much faster. Yay for health, but... ugh. Eating eggs and sweet potatoes when all your body wants is a simple piece of toast sucks. Especially when you're five years old. I also made it that much harder on myself by planning outings that first week to "distract" us. Next time, I plan TV distractions. You can't win them all.
7) It makes grocery shopping very straight forward.
Normally my grocery lists are detailed and precise and every meal is planned for the set amount of time. But on Whole30? Just buy out the produce department, throw a gallon of oil in your cart, and grab a cow on your way back the vehicle. Done.
8) It also makes cooking a little meh.
By the end of the month I was just bored. I didn't want steamed veggies and chicken breast again. And beef roast and squash isn't novel anymore either. Cooking with all food groups is, plain and simple, more fun.
9) Simple spices make great meals.
That said, the meals were good. They tasted good, and they were surprisingly simple out of the Whole30 book. I didn't need to buy weirdzo spices to making anything, and there were even a few recipes I added to our "normal" lives when we were done. ;)
10) But... but... baking...
It was physically painful to not bake for close to 6 weeks. I actually did bake and brought it to other people and events by the final couple of weeks because I was going absolutely stir crazy. It became a bit of a moral dilemma for me - if everything in baked items is so bad for me, should I even enjoy making them? Sigh. No epiphanies.
11) It resets your taste buds, it doesn't re-wire them.
Come on, people. Cheetos and Coke and chocolate all still taste amazing. It's why we started eating them in the first place.
12) Headaches.
I also had a lot of headaches during the month, which is unusual for me. My self-diagnoses is that my gut health has been poor enough that I was in the process of purging/replacing bacteria. But headaches on day 27 is a bit disheartening. However, my husband didn't have headaches during the month, and he routinely suffers from them. That was a huge plus for us and signs of success!
13) Everywhere you go, someone offers you evil food.
Graduations. Holidays. The park. Everywhere. My children began telling people "We're on a diet", which made me feel the need to explain myself being my 4 children all together total about 120 pounds. =P
14) Breastfeeding didn't suffer.
I was really impressed with how my milk supply stayed strong. Normally when I cut calories it's a foregone conclusion that I cut my supply. But with Whole30 that was not the case at all. Possibly because I was drinking copious amounts of water out of anger that I couldn't snack? Whatever the case, it worked. And my baby stopped spitting up two weeks into it, which was ah-mazing.
15) I spent my month in the kitchen.
There is no cutting corners when you cook whole foods only. Not a single meal. I may or may not have snapped at my husband about it a few times. Shh, quiet, I know it was my idea in the first place.
16) Holy protein, Batman.
I couldn't stay ahead of the protein demand. I would prep multiple pounds of chicken breast, browned hamburger, dozens of boiled eggs... and 48 hours later it was gone.
17) Eggs
We consumed at least 75 dozen eggs. No, I am not exaggerating.
18) Oops... but oh well.
About two weeks into it, I discovered there had been sulfites in both my lemon juice and red wine vinegar. I had done so well reading labels of items I bought, but neglected to be as thorough with my own cupboards. There was no way I was starting over. No way. Maybe it threw everything off? Probably not. Even if it did, I did not care.
19) Okay, so I do comfort eat sometimes.
I know I said I'm not a big comfort eater. But it still happens. There was one particular day where I was just having a rough day emotionally, and while driving somewhere I was sniffling to myself that I would feel better if I had an iced coffee. Boo hoo. I didn't get any iced coffee laced with sugar and whipping cream. The day was fine. Not amazing. But fine.
20) I felt oh-so-proud buying groceries.
Oh, I was patting myself on the back in the checkout line, feeling so superior to those unhealthy shlubs next to me buying crackers, I admit it.
21) I felt oh-so-depressed at the bill.
But eating whole foods is expensive. No other way to slice that. That said, being we couldn't go out to eat ANYWHERE, we saved money there. And we couldn't drink any alcohol, so we saved some money there.
22) I thought my children might die.
I have skinny children. And when they're puking during detox and then picking at their less-than-inspiring eggs and potatoes for breakfast, I was legitimately concerned for their bodies about two weeks in.
23) But then...
And then, all of a sudden, we turned a corner. And they were eating PILES. To the point where I was telling them to stop because I didn't have enough food prepped. My mother still talks about how much they ate when she was babysitting them one night. hahahaha. No joke, they consumed 1/2 pound of beef, 1 egg, 1/2 an avocado, watermelon, various fruits and veggies. Just for supper. EACH. I actually think they put on a little weight by the end of the month. Instead of eating a piece of bread and refusing anything else good on the table, they were eating twice the calories in whole foods. It was shocking and miraculous.
24) Kids' awareness of food.
They still ask me, "Mom, is this dairy?" or "Mom, is there sugar in this?" at meal times. If nothing else, my kids were instilled with a keen awareness of food groups and which ones are just "okay" instead of "great."
25) Sleep etc.
John required less sleep on Whole 30 and felt far more clear-headed. And we both noticed that once we returned to eating higher amounts of carbs that we just felt sleepy in the morning, even if we had a solid night of sleep.
26) Olive oil.
Buy it. Buy all of it. Gallons. It might last until the weekend.
27) Bananas.
We ate so many bananas. I even ate bananas. And I don't like bananas. But they're filling, and they're easy, and they're downright close to dessert when you fry them with coconut oil and cinnamon.
28) Okay, so we "cheated".
Yeah, I was towing the line with the whole fried banana thing. And I made banana egg pancakes. And we had smoothies. So shoot me. All the ingredients were approved, and even though I felt 100% guilty (because I'm hard core like that), it was what gave my kids happy moments during that month.
29) Looking at it now.
Immediately after completion I was disappointed. I didn't feel good. If anything, I had more bad days than good during the 30. But after a couple months of going back to eating whatever we want, I'm seeing the benefits more clearly now. The "clean" feeling in your body, the increased appetite for good things, the adjustment in how I view my meals, the weight loss, etc. In fact...
30) I can't believe I'm saying it, but.... next time?
We're doing it again. I'm not sure I'm ready for it. But my hope is that better habits will be formed each time we challenge ourselves to a hard reset. And I'm (oddly?) excited to try it in a different season of the year. Summer is great for fresh fruits and veggies, but I'm looking forward to preparing squash and potatoes (energy heaven for this girl) in the oven without it being 90 degrees outside. Here's to better health, and enough will power to muscle through another 30. This time I'll have Kombucha, and I'm going to binge on it, no matter what the Dallas authors say. So there.
