I'm not going to include the lyrics to this song, because you should really go and actually listen to the song before reading this. Or after. Or during. Or all of the above.
You know those songs that just "get" you every time you listen to them? Or, better yet, they continue to not only get you but grow on you the more you hear them?
Listening to John Mark McMillan's Borderlands album, "Guns/Napoleon" jumped out at me right away. (Maybe just because he used Napoleon in a song... it is a little bit of an awkward name to sing...) Whatever the case, I liked it. And then the more I listened to it, the more I liked it. And after having that CD on a somewhat endless cycle being I don't change the CD in the vehicle very often, I still like it.
So. Why?
God is relentlessly pursuing us. He is so relentless that He could easily be likened to a conquering soldier, invading our shores and breaching the defenses we have so carefully put in place, causing such overwhelming invasion that our only option is surrender. It sounds hostile, and yet... isn't it sometimes? I don't give up my territory easily - I fight and resist with all my energy to protect those areas I feel are "mine," that God should just leave alone. And yet He refuses to let me keep them. He pushes and pushes and advances until He breaks through. He is a force so powerful you can only watch with dread, knowing there is no hope except surrender. God is that powerful. He is that commanding. And, if necessary, that destructive. He can and will and does conquer us. There is no escaping His focus. There is no running from His advance.
There have been so many times I have screamed at God, "Will You stop? Will You stop poking at this area? Will You stop testing me in this? Haven't I given you enough of that? How much of me do you want??" I long for His retreat, and yet He refuses. He keeps coming. He keeps advancing. And He doesn't stop until He's gained my complete and utter surrender.
I hate how relentless He is.
I love how relentless He is.
Because while His invasion of "my" space is painful, it is exactly what I need.
"You fill the hollows of the walls
In the houses where I walk
You're hanging pictures on the walls
In the houses that I haunt"
What is it I'm working so hard to protect? An empty house? Walls that are damaged and bare?
He conquers, but only to bring life. He's filling up the holes I've just learned to live with. He's putting memories and beauty into the residence in which I've merely been existing. What I thought was a life, He is filling in with Life. What I thought was a perfectly fine residence, He is making it home.
He refuses to leave me in such a place as I have made for myself.
He refuses.
He will not let anything stop Him.
He will not be intimidated by my unwillingness.
He keeps coming on, like Napoleon.
And this time, I want to give up without a fight.
